I'm lost and stupid without you.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
