she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
