I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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