what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
