Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
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I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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