how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
