I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
