I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
