Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
