hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
