Old men and throwing up are my life now.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize