check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
