its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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