pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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