I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
