I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work