just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day