please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.