Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Duck Duck Cougar?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
So I just went to clothing optional bar