it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE