i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
