bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
