i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
