i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
