Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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