You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
