Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
