You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
