I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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