I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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