if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
