There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
