he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
