OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
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And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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