youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
