i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
