Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
