it was like eating out sand paper
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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