I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
