im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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