He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
