You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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