I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
