dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
