i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
