I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
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So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
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EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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