all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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