i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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