I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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