I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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