Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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