i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
