stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize