May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
