Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
