worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
