You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize
