it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
