there's paper in my vomit.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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