He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize