part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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