eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
