I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I had to cum in my sink.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
