you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
