I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
