Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
