coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
