Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
