i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
