It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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