I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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